“And he asked his father, How long is it ago since this came unto him? And he said, Of a child. And ofttimes it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him: but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us. Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.” (Mark 9:21-24 KJV)
“He asked the boy’s father, “How long has this been going on?” “Ever since he was a little boy. Many times it pitches him into fire or the river to do away with him. If you can do anything, do it. Have a heart and help us!” Jesus said, “If? There are no ‘ifs’ among believers. Anything can happen.” No sooner were the words out of his mouth than the father cried, “Then I believe. Help me with my doubts!” (Mark 9:21-24 MESSAGE)
Look at how dramatically Jesus said what He did. He almost yelled it. “IF??? Did I just hear you say IF??? THERE ARE NO 'IF'S' AMONG BELIEVERS!!!!!” The forcefulness of how Jesus said that was staggering!!
Now watch what happens next according to the Message Bible in verse 24. No sooner were those words out of the mouth of Jesus when the boys father then yelled out, "Then I believe!" But watch and listen very carefully to the next words he said! "Help me with my doubts!" The KJV said the father said "help thou mine unbelief", but notice carefully that the Message Bible says something vastly different, "help me with my DOUBTS."
If any of you are like me even in the slightest sense, the problem you have is not that you don't believe, but rather that you have doubts, uncertainties, questions, confusions, and on and on it goes! I BELIEVE the Bible! I BELIEVE that Jesus was born of the Virgin Mary. I BELIEVE that there is a God the Father, and that there is a God the Son, and that there is a God the Holy Ghost. I BELIEVE that God loves me. And I BELIEVE that He wants the best for me. And I BELIEVE that He is working out the greater good for my life. And I BELIEVE that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to His purpose." I BELIEVE that "greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world". I BELIEVE that God sees the end from the beginning and that He already knows everything that is going to happen in my life and that He is working on my behalf to make only the best things happen for me! That's not my problem! My problems is that I BELIEVE THE BIBLE, BUT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT A LOT OF THE TIME!!!!!
And that is exactly what was going on here with the father of this boy. He "believed" that Jesus could heal his son, but because he didn't "understand" it all, it caused him to have doubts. Just like this father, many of us believe the Bible, but because we don't "understand" parts of it, we get hung up on issues. And worse than that, a lot of times in our churches it turns into sort of a competition of who is the holier than thou crowd. You know what I am talking about. There are always those in every church it seems that it doesn't matter if they understand one iota about the scriptures, there are always going to pretend that they know it all, and thus in turn make others feel like less than a good Christian in the process! Listen to me! Just because you do not understand something in the Bible does not make you any less of a Christian than those who claim that they understand everything in the Bible!! All of us have times that we don't understand what God is up to in our lives, or what is happening around us.
I believe that God loves me, but I do NOT understand why He allows me to go through everything that He does! I believe that He is working out something greater in my life, but I sure do NOT understand WHY He takes so long sometimes! I don't know about you, but with me for some reason He loves to specialize in last second rescues! I believe that He can do all things and that nothing is impossible for Him to do! But what I do NOT understand is if He can do all that, then WHY in this world does He not do something faster for me to help me get out of this mess I am in sooner rather than later!!!
You see, we all may "believe" the scripture that says God is working out everything for our good, but at times it sure is hard to "understand" why we are going through what we are going through! Do you think that everyone in the Bible "understood" all that they were going through when they were going through it? No Way! Read Hebrews 11 again sometime, that great Faith Chapter, and read how that most of those saints didn't understand it at all, but because of Faith they made it through it all! Did you hear what I just said? Wow! That was Deep! Those Saints didn't understand it all, but because of Faith they made it through it all! WOW!!!!
Does ANYONE understand what I am trying to say??? Does anyone relate to where I am coming from? Can anyone in the church world get off their high horse long enough to get down here where the rubber meets the road and ask the real questions and talk some straight talk with me??? Doesn't ANYONE relate to what I am feeling even a little bit? Can't ANYONE see where I am coming from even in the slightest little sense? Is there anyone else at all in the church world who gets a little tired of turning on Christian TV sometimes and hearing about how great and wonderful all those awesome Television Preachers are having it? Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about jealousy here, or envy, or anything else like that. But doesn't it just sometimes get to you to hear over and over again about how great they all have it? Doesn't it get to you sometimes to hear about how every time they get out of bed in the morning the angels start singing, and the heavenly band kicks in and the birds start chirping and a rainbow pops out in the sky to welcome their day? I'm telling you that there are some of us out here who are just trying to make it one day at a time and not doing such a good job of it at that!!!! I'm telling you that there are some of us out here that are having trouble just putting one foot in front of the other!
But regardless of that, guess what? I still believe the Bible from cover to cover! I still believe every single word it says. I still believe everything it says in the words on those precious pages. And I still even believe everything that it doesn't say "in between" the lines. I believe in it literally, and I believe in it spiritually, and supernaturally. My problem is that although I believe it with every fiber of my being, I don't always UNDERSTAND it!!! Does anyone else out there understand where I am coming from?
I'm sorry! But I don't always understand why I have to go through what I have to go through. Maybe I am the only one on the face of this planet who feels this way. Maybe I am the only human being who has ever believed the Bible but didn't always understand it! But somehow I don't think so!!! Somehow I feel that there just may be an entire generation of church-going, Bible-believing Christians who feel the way I do, who are just too embarrassed to speak up and say so! And the thing is, why are we all so afraid to admit that we have doubts? Why are we all so afraid to admit that we don't always understand everything that we go through? Why are we so ashamed to admit that we don't always understand everything?
Could it be that it is because we have created a church culture where we have created such false high standards for ourselves that we have totally forgotten how to be just honest, down-to-earth believers searching for the truth? Could it be that we have created within our ranks an entire culture that is so afraid to admit that they don't UNDERSTAND something that they are afraid to speak up and admit it and ask why something is??? What has happened to us? How could we have gotten so far off the pathway that Jesus created for us to walk on?
So, the question is this - where do we begin in order to regain some semblance of honesty among us again? What do we have to do in order to restore some courage within our ranks so that a dad, or a mom, or God-forbid, even a "preacher" stand up in church and admit that we don't always understand everything? How long must we continue to play these charades where we all pretend that we all have everything in perfect order and that we don't have anything wrong in our lives at all? Where does the charade end? And what must be done to start a healing among our ranks where true anointing can flow again through us and wipe away our hidden fears and misunderstandings?
I know! I have a solution! How about this? What if it began right here in us right here right now? Wow! I have a novel idea! What if it started with ME??? Okay, I'll take the chance! Here goes!!!!
My name is Reverend Steve Pegram, no, make that official, my name is Bishop Reverend Big Dog Mighty Preacher Steve Pegram, and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING!!! Yes, I believe the Bible! But, no, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND how I could have preached the Gospel for all these years and devoted every waking second to preaching the Good News of the Gospel of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and then have my entire world ripped out from under me! Yes, I believe the Bible when it says that if we sow into good ground that we will reap a good harvest. And yes, I believe the Bible when it says that as long as I pay my tithes that God will open the windows of heaven and will pour me out a blessing, so much so, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. But you know what? Although I believe that with all my heart and all my soul and all my spirit, I still DO NOT UNDERSTAND why my family had to lose almost everything that we had! And I DO NOT UNDERSTAND why we couldn't even afford to pay our bills Back then! AND I DO NOT UNDERSTAND why we couldn't even afford to go to the grocery store and buy groceries!!! And I DO NOT UNDERSTAND how after preaching this Gospel in literally hundreds upon hundreds of churches all across this nation how we could have been abandoned by everybody we ever thought were our friends!!! No, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND everything!
But after all that, do you want to hear something funny? After all that, I still believe every single word in the entire Bible!!! After all that, I still believe that God loves me more than anyone on the face of this earth!!! After all that, I still believe that He is working out a greater good in me that I cannot even begin to fathom!!!! And I still believe that I am the head and not the tail! And that I am blessed coming in and I am blessed going out! And that I am blessed in the basket, and I am blessed in the field! And I still believe that my later shall be greater than that of my former!!! And I still believe that the glory of my latter house shall be greater than that of my former house! I STILL BELIEVE!!!!!
So, you see, I am no different than that father who stood before Jesus that day in Mark Chapter 9, verses 21 - 24. That father "believed" that Jesus could heal his son, but because he didn't "understand" it, it caused him to doubt. But, let me tell you something! I have finally come to the realization that I can indeed BELIEVE the Bible, but yet not always UNDERSTAND it. And I have finally come to grips with the fact that just because I do not UNDERSTAND everything I am going through, does not mean that I do not BELIEVE what the Bible says about my outcome!
I want you to know, that you too need to be set free from the condemnation of that misunderstanding! For too long our precious saints sitting upon our pews have been lied to by the devil and convinced that just because they don't understand everything going on in their lives, that they must not have any faith, thus must not believe any longer. Well, the devil is a liar and that today, not tomorrow, not next week, not next month, but TODAY you can be set free from that condemnation! You can be set free from those hidden secret fears that you have been too ashamed to admit to anybody else around you that you do not understand everything going on in your life. You have been too afraid of what others will think about you if you open up, so you have lived in secret pain and prolonged captivity!
But let me tell you something that God spoke to me. One day while just working in our offices, minding my own business, not even really thinking about anything too spiritual I guess you would say, the voice of God spoke to me as clear as I have ever had Him speak to me. And this is what He said, "Steve, you have been a prisoner of war in your mind." WOW! You talk about an eye-opener! I had never ever even thought about viewing my life from that viewpoint before - a prisoner of war! But all of a sudden it made sense to me. My mind had been held captive to fears, doubts, and misunderstandings. And not all of them were from the devil either! Are you listening to me? Sure, probably some of them were from him. But some of them were there because of men! And some of them were there because of man-made church doctrines and teachings. And are you ready for this? Some of them were there from my own making!!! Yep! Some of them were there because of me!
But I tell you that now I have a free heart and a free mind! Why? Because I have finally truly come to grips with this one thing - Just because I do not UNDERSTAND everything that I go through does not mean that I have a lack of faith or that I do not believe the Bible! And when you get that into your spirit, then and only then, are your truly totally FREE!!!! I am a living testimony that a person might not understand everything in the Bible, but can surely BELIEVE everything in it!! Oh Hallelujah!