FRIENDS. TRUE FRIENDS. FRIENDS THAT STICK BY YOU WHEN YOU ARE UP AND WHEN YOU ARE DOWN. FRIENDS. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? FRIENDS. TRUE FRIENDS. HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF IF YOU HAVE ANY OR NOT? IF YOU HAVEN'T, WHEN YOU DO COME TO THAT TIME, YOU'LL SEE WITH CLEARER EYES THAN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN WITH! AND THERE WILL BE ONE BURNING QUESTION INSIDE YOUR HEART THAT HURTS SO BAD YOU'LL NEARLY SHOUT IT OUT! AND THAT IS - WERE ANY OF THEM "REALLY" MY FRIENDS TO BEGIN WITH? OR, WERE THEY JUST USING ME FOR WHAT THEY COULD GET OUT OF ME? AND ONCE THERE IS NOTHING LEFT OF ME, WILL THEY JUST TOSS ME ASIDE AS RUBAGE TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD? FRIENDS? I JUST DON'T KNOW ANY MORE.

FIVE YEARS AGO I STARTED LOSING MY HEALTH. UP UNTIL THAT TIME I HAD PLENTY OF WHAT I THOUGHT WERE "FRIENDS". BUT OVER THE PAST FIVE YEARS SLOWLY ONE BY ONE HAVE FADED OFF THE SCENE. FRIENDS WHO I THOUGHT WOULD NEVER EVER TURN THEIR BACKS ON ME. EVER! BUT SADLY AS TIME WENT BY, THEY DID TURN THEIR BACKS. SOME WHO I USED TO TALK TO EVERY SINGLE WEEK, HAVE NOW GONE TWO FULL YEARS WITHOUT ONE SINGLE TIME CHECKING ON ME. FRIENDS? I JUST DON'T KNOW ANY MORE.

AFTER 18 YEARS OF PREACHING THIS GOSPEL ALL ACROSS AMERICA I KNOW PERSONALLY 100'S UPON 100'S OF FELLOW MINISTERS. BUT SADLY, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF JUST A VERY FEW, NONE OF THEM HAVE EVEN CALLED, WROTE OR ASKED TO SEE IF I WAS EVEN STILL ALIVE. AND IF THE TRUTH BE KNOWN, THERE HAVE BEEN TIMES THAT KATHY AND THE BOYS ALMOST LOST ME! YEP, THERE WERE TIMES THAT THEY DIDN'T KNOW IF I WAS GOING TO PULL THROUGH OR NOT. FRIENDS? I JUST DON'T KNOW ANY MORE. AND NOW, AFTER FIVE YEARS OF SUFFERING AND SORROW, WHEN WE HAVE LOST ALMOST EVERYTHING WE HAD, IT SURE WOULD BE NICE IF MORE THAN JUST A FEW WERE AROUND TO HELP US SOMEHOW. BUT, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF JUST THOSE FEW, WE ARE BUT A FORGOTTEN MEMORY FOR MOST.

FRIENDS? I JUST DON'T KNOW ANY MORE. WHILE WE FIGHT EACH AND EVERY DAY JUST TO COME UP WITH ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY GROCERIES AND PAY SOME OF OUR BILLS, OUR FORMER FRIENDS MOVE ON WITH THEIR LIVES AS IF WE DO NOT EVEN EXIST ANY MORE. FRIENDS? I JUST DON'T KNOW ANY MORE. WHILE WE HAVE SPENT NIGHT AFTER NIGHT CRYING OUR EYES OUT TO GOD, PRAYING FOR HELP, ANY HELP, OUR FORMER FRIENDS CONTINUE TO LIVE IN THE CLICKS OF SOCIETY. FRIENDS? I JUST DON'T KNOW ANY MORE.

I AM MORE DISILLUSIONED IN THE CONCEPT OF WHAT HUMAN FRIENDSHIP MEANS THAN I EVER HAVE BEEN IN MY LIFE. BUT, AT THE SAME TIME, I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE CONFIDENT IN MY LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST! OH HOW HIS WORD IS TRUE!!! HE REALLY DOES STICK CLOSER THAN A BROTHER! THANK GOODNESS THAT JESUS SAID IN ST. JOHN 15:14, "YOU ARE MY FRIENDS." OH HOW I WANT TO BE CALLED A FRIEND OF GOD! FOR NO MATTER HOW POOR A PERSON IS, GOD STILL LOVES THEM JUST THE SAME! AND HE DOESN'T RUN AND HIDE EITHER BECAUSE HE'S AFRAID THAT YOU MIGHT NEED A SHOULDER TO CRY ON! NO! HE IS ALWAYS THERE!

OH HOW MUCH I HAVE LEARNED FROM THESE EXPERIENCES WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH! FOR YOU SEE, I ALSO ONCE WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAD THEIR NOSE IN THE AIR, AND WALKED AROUND WITH AN AIR OF SUPERIORITY AS IF I WAS BETTER THAN OTHERS. OH HOW THAT MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH NOW TO EVEN THINK OF IT! OH THE DISGUSTING STENCH THAT IS IN MY NOSTRILS EVEN NOW AS I THINK OF HOW I COULD HAVE EVER BEEN LIKE THAT! I USED TO WALK INTO CHURCH SANCTUARYS WITH AN ATTITUDE THAT STUNK TO THE HIGH HEAVENS! AN ATTITUDE OF "NOW YOU CAN HAVE CHURCH, REAL CHURCH, BECAUSE STEVE PEGRAM IS HERE!" OH GOD FORGIVE ME FOR MY WRETCHED ATTITUDE AND PATHETIC MINDSET WHERE I THOUGHT MYSELF TO BE SOMETHING WHEN I WAS NOTHING!

HEY! MAYBE THAT'S WHERE ALL MY FRIENDS WENT! MAYBE THEY GOT TIRED OF ME HAVING SUCH AN ATTITUDE! MAYBE THEY GOT TIRED OF ME ACTING LIKE I WAS BETTER THAN OTHERS! MAYBE THEY GOT TIRED OF MY ACTING LIKE I HAD A SUPERIOR WORD TO THE CHURCH THAN ANYONE ELSE! MAYBE. JUST MAYBE. I DON'T KNOW. BUT EITHER WAY THOUGH I DO KNOW THIS - THE BIBLE DOES NOT TEACH US TO ABANDON AND TURN OUR BACKS ON OUR FRIENDS WHEN THEY ARE DOWN. IT DOES NOT TEACH US TO LAUGH AT THEM AND MOCK THEM AS IF THEY WERE DIRT UNDER OUR FEET WHEN THEY ARE DOWN. FOR, ISN'T THAT THE VERY SAME THING THAT I JUST ADMITTED TO DOING MYSELF? SO, WHICH ONE IS BETTER? WHICH ONE IS MORE HOLY? FRIENDS? I JUST DON'T KNOW ANY MORE. I GUESS A MAN CAN HAVE FRIENDS WHO STICK BY HIM AND LOVE HIM AND SUPPORT HIM "ONLY" IF HE CAN HANG OUT IN YOUR CLICK. OR MAYBE AS LONG AS HE CAN PREACH IN THE RIGHT SIZE CHURCHES THAT MAKES HIM A BETTER MAN TO BE A FRIEND TO. HMMM. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HUMAN CARNAL MINDSET IS ON THAT. BUT I DO KNOW WHAT THE GODLY BIBLICAL MINDSET ON THAT IS! AND OH TO GOD IF MY FAMILY AND I COULD ONLY HAVE SOME FRIENDS NOW WHO COULD LOVE US FOR WHO WE ARE, AND NOT FOR WHAT THEY WANT US TO BE. AND WHO COULD HELP US GET THROUGH THIS HELL ON EARTH THAT WE HAVE BEEN LIVING IN FOR FIVE YEARS NOW, WITHOUT THE THOUGHT OF GREED OF WHEN CAN WE DO SOMETHING BACK IN TURN FOR THEM. FRIENDS. I JUST DON'T KNOW ANY MORE.

IN CLOSING, REMEMBER THOSE "FEW" FRIENDS I MENTIONED ABOVE? THOSE FEW FRIENDS WHO HAS STUCK BY US NO MATTER WHAT HAS HAPPENED? NO, I WON'T TELL YOU THEIR NAMES. BUT LET ME DO TELL YOU THIS - GOD KNOWS WHO THEY ARE! AND FURTHERMORE, WE KNOW WHO THEY ARE!!! AND TO THOSE PRECIOUS KIND-HEARTED, LOVING FRIENDS WHO HAVE STUCK BY US AND SUPPORTED US THROUGH ALL THESE YEARS OF UPS AND DOWNS - YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN! NO! NOT IN A MILLION BILLION TRILLION QUADRILLION YEARS!!!!!! AND IF EVER, AND I MEAN EVER, YOU NEED SOMETHING, OR YOU JUST NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO, OR TO LEAN ON, OR NEED SOME HELP FROM, IN ANY WAY - WE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU! ALWAYS! AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, THAT IS WHAT TRUE FRIENDSHIP REALLY IS ALL ABOUT!!!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

In Christ's Love Always,
Bishop Steve Pegram